Letter to Ayanna

“Letter to Ayanna

I know you
Even if you don’t exist
Even if you will never exist
I saw you
in third grade
with darker hair than mine
but still like mine
Tomboyish like me
But not as much
With a pink sweater
And patched jeans
Converse sneakers hinting
That you like a solid foundation
And will not be told who you are
I raised you
In my mind
To be stronger than I was
Less anxious
Less afraid
To break our family’s lineage
Of being hurt and scared
I am afraid of you
Afraid to create a fearless girl
Not because the world would wreck you
But because the world wrecked me
And i can’t go back
To become like you
But maybe I can meet you
If I keep going forward